Seth Godin said these words in an interview with Marie Forleo this morning and it instantly caught my attention. This pique in interest was self-directed as I wondered, what am I? Could what I’ve been doing be classified under a wandering generality or a meaningful specific? Of course, none of you are in my head but I’m there all the time, it’s actually my favorite past time and because of this I know when I’m not being in integrity with myself. There are no small or large measures of personal integrity. When you fall out of integrity with yourself, the effect is the same and that is, a loss of self-trust, which leads to a loss of self-confidence.
Why am I bringing this all up and why do I sound like I’m being hard on myself? It’s because there’s a part of my “mission” that I waiver on time and time again. I start and stop endeavors. I get wishy-washy on living or speaking my truth. And why? In truth, because I haven’t figured out what it is. I’m just on this journey of life, like many of you are, trying to figure it out while staying true to myself and my values.
I’ve been trying so hard and failing at having a “mission”, a mission to bring wisdom and healing to other’s who’ve suffered with abuse like I did in childhood. Perhaps this “mission” is too large. Perhaps, I’m just not that invested. Perhaps the form I’ve been trying to have this “mission” take is not the right one. I have many questions and many ideas but there is one thing I am sure of and that is, I want to be a Meaningful Specific and not a Wandering Generality. So I promise to be patient and loving with myself as I figure out where I’m going and how I get there.
p.s. I arrived home Friday night after my trip, attended a lovely wedding on Saturday and started feeling ill Saturday night. I haven’t written because I haven’t been feeling up to it. I’ve had the flu only once before, not fun. This I consider a cold but I do have aches, a headache, I have vomited but I’m getting better and sleeping many hours. Cheers to taking time out when you need it.