I was inspired to create a series of posts from my experiences from a course I’m doing called Intimacy Without Responsibility. It’s about learning to be in relationship without taking responsibility for another person’s feelings or pain or even their success or joy!
Freedom in relationship is about becoming very clear about your own codependency – the roles (and games) we play with others… your intimate partner as well as family, friends and colleagues. –Wendyne Limber
Each day, I reflect and journal on the daily exercise and I thought it beneficial to share my thoughts in the hope that you not only receive wisdom but also do your own reflection to develop awareness around how you show up in relationship and what you can do to realize relationship freedom.
In response to the questions: Who Am I Care-Taking? In what way do I do this? How long have I been trying to take care of other people? Am I committed to my own soul’s evolution?
I’m care-taking my ego who’s been driven by appearances. The appearance of perfection, the appearance of desirability, the appearance of having it all together.
When I have been committed to keeping up appearances, I have put the wishes and happiness of others ahead of my own; I have tied the reason for my existence to another’s so much so that I get lost and ungrounded in my own life.
My traumatized ego’s need to be loved, accepted and validated has been in the driver’s seat for many years, beginning in my teenage years when I began using sex to force love.
In the past couple of years, I’ve become a witness to these patterns and made a conscious effort to be self-loving and self-caring so that my ego can relax in the back seat. This is my journey of evolution; to experience, to witness and to teach.